Let's!
From the outside looking in, am I doing this right? Is the person I am around my guy friends the same when she walks by?
No.
Okay, well what's different? I am tense, or do I say things that show her I want her to see how talented and unique I am? Do I smile because she makes me feel good? I guess I wonder how she will recognize that she and I are perfect for one another unless she sees me at the top of my game. That must be why I act differently, but surely that can't be a bad thing, can it?
No, I suppose not.
I just want her to see the all of me, what everyone else sees when she's not there. I guess we spend such little time together that I get excited.
You mean you want her to see the things that I see?
I want it to be more intimate than that I guess. Maybe not. Eventually, I want it to be more intimate between the two of us.
No.
Okay, well what's different? I am tense, or do I say things that show her I want her to see how talented and unique I am? Do I smile because she makes me feel good? I guess I wonder how she will recognize that she and I are perfect for one another unless she sees me at the top of my game. That must be why I act differently, but surely that can't be a bad thing, can it?
No, I suppose not.
I just want her to see the all of me, what everyone else sees when she's not there. I guess we spend such little time together that I get excited.
You mean you want her to see the things that I see?
I want it to be more intimate than that I guess. Maybe not. Eventually, I want it to be more intimate between the two of us.
Why her specifically?
I think it's about confidence: I am attracted to her because she makes me feel as though I have to earn the right to (1) be known by her and (2) as hers. I guess it may be a syndrome, but every guy puffs up his chest when an attractive girl walks by. That's just human nature. I have been going to the gym three times a week and I am in great physical shape. Beauty is fleeting, but while I'm in my youth I certainly am taking advantage of my strength.
What we had mentioned before is whether you are different or not when she was around; can we talk about that again?
Different, how so?
I mean in regard to your attention, and your mannerisms? You said you often talk more when she is around, why?
People do say I have a "mode." When she's around I fall into a trance and I won't miss a blink of her eye--sounds a little unhealthy now I think about it. But I guess I have a very real confidence when she's around. It's not much about her and not much about me. I think it's a connection.
What we had mentioned before is whether you are different or not when she was around; can we talk about that again?
Different, how so?
I mean in regard to your attention, and your mannerisms? You said you often talk more when she is around, why?
People do say I have a "mode." When she's around I fall into a trance and I won't miss a blink of her eye--sounds a little unhealthy now I think about it. But I guess I have a very real confidence when she's around. It's not much about her and not much about me. I think it's a connection.
But why?
I don't know, I suppose this is why I wonder if I am doing it right. (TBC)
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