Proverbs 4:23?? Well, how on earth do you do THAT?!

An unguarded heart, to me, has always been one of the most obscure and nebulous concepts in the Bible. How does a heart remain vulnerable and moldable to that which is unseen AND remain protected against that which is seen? Oh, if I only knew the answer in my head, I would send tactical defense strategies to my heart--help it put up guard! I know the tell-tail signs of an unguarded heart (from intuition and personal experience). The heart is used to describe so many things, but for the sake of this list I will include things related to the heart that are exclusive to Eros, i.e. sexual love.

1. Unanswered questions, which perpetuate themselves.
2. Desire to better another individual for your sake with little of no intention of personal change.
3. Schemes; day dreaming; acting on desires, rather than values.
4. Unhealthy disregard of personal needs for the sake of other.

An unguarded heart can lead to other things. Unforgiveness and bitterness are often the result of an untended heart. Going to sleep with the manifestations of an unguarded heart can allow emotions to have their way in your heart (without you even realizing it) and set the stage for more brokenness, helplessness, and disparity… Really the answer (I’ve found) in guarding a heart lies in whom you are held accountable to. When you get married, you enact a covenant between you and your spouse; Christian should already have such a covenant to God. Eros love is something that is added to a pre-established relationship, which should already be founded in Philia, virtuous love.

One should be seeking virtue in his or her personal life, and the moment that virtue is made second priority in a relationship (as soon as the covenant he or she has made with God is downgraded to merely “something to consider”), you should seriously take a step back and evaluate your heart. Something to seriously consider is that marriage doesn’t change your individual covenant to God. It is for your own sake and the sake of your future family that you are first accountable to God---seriously, here’s the secret: If you are first accountable to God then HE INHABITS YOUR HEART. The Lord is a fortress and a shield and He protects you. It’s a hard lesson, but relationships should be founded in this truth.

self-counseling

Let's take a stroll. I want to look at myself from your shoes. I'm curious what you see.

Let's!

From the outside looking in, am I doing this right? Is the person I am around my guy friends the same when she walks by?
No.
Okay, well what's different? I am tense, or do I say things that show her I want her to see how talented and unique I am? Do I smile because she makes me feel good? I guess I wonder how she will recognize that she and I are perfect for one another unless she sees me at the top of my game. That must be why I act differently, but surely that can't be a bad thing, can it?
No, I suppose not.
I just want her to see the all of me, what everyone else sees when she's not there. I guess we spend such little time together that I get excited.
You mean you want her to see the things that I see?
I want it to be more intimate than that I guess. Maybe not. Eventually, I want it to be more intimate between the two of us.

Why her specifically?

I think it's about confidence: I am attracted to her because she makes me feel as though I have to earn the right to (1) be known by her and (2) as hers. I guess it may be a syndrome, but every guy puffs up his chest when an attractive girl walks by. That's just human nature. I have been going to the gym three times a week and I am in great physical shape. Beauty is fleeting, but while I'm in my youth I certainly am taking advantage of my strength.
What we had mentioned before is whether you are different or not when she was around; can we talk about that again?
Different, how so?
I mean in regard to your attention, and your mannerisms? You said you often talk more when she is around, why?
People do say I have a "mode." When she's around I fall into a trance and I won't miss a blink of her eye--sounds a little unhealthy now I think about it. But I guess I have a very real confidence when she's around. It's not much about her and not much about me. I think it's a connection.

But why?

I don't know, I suppose this is why I wonder if I am doing it right. (TBC)